23

So it's January 21st, a day I'd like to call my birthday. :) I like birthdays alot... celebrating with family and friends, gifts, surprises, cake, and just the whole idea of someone's special day.

But here's my dilemma.

I have some sort of problem. You know the song "It's my party. I can cry if I want to..." That's my reality EVERY stinkin' year. I cry tears, lots of tears, every January 21st. I mean I'm talking back way back to elementary school. I remember years where I would have an all out bash and everything a girl could dream of having on a birthday and still... tears. From my 7th grade ice skating party where I hid my complex by creating mass drama among the teenage girls at my party to my sweet 16 surprise party where I busted my face in the midst of a mad game at the pinata, thus creating tears for days to come because of the massive bruise.

As I went to bed last night, I prepared myself. This is a new year. I'm supposed to be a big kid now, right? NO TEARS. I swore to myself that today would be just like any other day. Maybe if I convinced myself to forget what day it was, then I could be free of this yearly complex.

But here's my confession... I lost. I cried today. No reason. Not even sure why it happened. But the birthday bawling occurred.

I've tried to analyze why this happens. Maybe I am resisting change? Or maybe I just don't want to grow up? I still can't seem to find the real reason to this annual cryfest.

But there's hope for next year. I've always felt 24 would be my year. ;)